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haiqalsaures
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I just wanna be away from everyone. Just away. I've said it before I'll say it again. I never find a place of belonging anywhere. I'm just foreign everywhere. When I say everyone I do mean EVERYONE. Who needs me anyway right? I'm just an egoistical,immature,self-centered guy. Oh ya. Who cares anyway.
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At times I do really really wish those tweets are for me. I wish I could take that brave step forward. But I can't. I know you too well. Maybe it's a definite goodbye for us very soon.
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 Been listening to Beribu Sesalan these past few days. Really caught me. Everytime I listen to it I feel like I'm in this deep negative space of sorrow and depression.

I'm not the happiest guy around but i'm not the saddest either. Yesterday I was asked this question,"So do you have anyone that you like now?" My answer was a definite No. Of course. There isn't any girl that I'm constantly interacting now. My phone would just have messages about rehersals or replacement of class. There isn't any friend even that I constantly text. So at times I do wonder why I bought that BB Torch. 

And hey, cmon. Who would even think about missing me aye? I'm just everywhere. That  common face you'll see around. Sometimes I'm just tired of walking alone. Can I just have some company by my side? Shit. I asked for company. That means I ain't gonna have any..=.=" I'm guess i'm kinda envious seeing all my other friends being close with their cliques or best friends.

Would love to write a whole lot but I can't think already. Gonna die areadi. k bye. 
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" I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you 
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you"
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I'm not exactly broken. Probably the correct word would be "stiffen". I was introduced to this song by the one whom I thought would have been the one. It didn't happen. Nothing much can happen to me anyway. I'm pretty much love dancing and wish I have a little more motivation for it. I'm the kind who needs at least someone to do things with me. It'd be nice for a change. It was nice this past Monday I actually hang out the whole day with a french girl. Never thought I would in my entire life but apparently we did and talked and even practice our trickings on the sands of Tanjong Beach. It's so refreshing actually to actually talk to someone with that kind of accent. Half of the time I was lsitening hard to catch what she said. Ended the day with dinner together at Starbucks Sentosa. Well other than that, @nazsyima's latest post is the ideal thinking I've been having. For a girl of course. Well toodles. And goota be careful of who I'm joking with. The joke level have to vary since I kinda tend to be rude at times. It's a hardcore malay thing. Phfft.
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 At times I wish I was daring enough to do so but with my environment I think I would be doubted in one way or another..=(
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Take me out from it.
Take me out from here.
If that isn't simple enough for you.
I'm not being rude.
If it seems to be a pain to someone,
Measures have been taken.
Take your own too.
Some things can never be forgotten.
Much less be forgiven.
One word.
Delete.
One word.
Done.

Thank you for being direct. You don't have to be sorry even for a moment. Now go.
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 Singapore Best Dance Crew competition is like in two days. I feel we're not really prepared and it's really pulling my morale down. Had an overnight practice till morning where I didn't sleep at all because I was suppose to help Redha with his freelance job. Where this freelance job might be? With a heading like that for this entry,it's of course back to my secondary school. Ah~~



The above picture is the Notice Board Area. For four whole years this was our hangout place straight after school. This is where I found myself. The talent in me I guess. A lot of flashbacks as I walk round this place. I walked around the school too. Haha.
 
So I was walking around right, I just had this urge to go to the hall to see the stage that I performed numerous times in my years of secondary school. I don't know if I should do this but I'm just gonna do it anyway. Prepare yourself for the next picture.
 
 
You kinda expected to see me huh. Seems like nothing special right. Just three student council people on a big board. Well for your information, I believe this was taken 4 years back. How would I know? Take a look at the girl on the far left. Uh'huh. That's her alright. I literally lol-ed in the hall alone because the rest who were inside the board was posing quite casually then suddenly this girl seems as though she's gonna jump out of the board itself. This deserve a blinking arrow pointing at her on this picture. LOL. Wacky is the word. I know I just had to take it because it's freaking funny and she was still with braces. Haha.

Well I had to leave the school eventually. Met a few teachers who still recognised me and redha. Well who wouldn't. We're practically everywhere in school. LOL. 
 
Seeing how carefree the students were made me wanna turn back time and start all over. Kinda suck growing up but we all have to go through it. Can't wait for SBDC to be done. I'm gona get myself a proper full-time job. A lot of my friends been nagging. I know that they believe I could always do something better other than dancing. I can do anything what. LOL. Well that's about it. Fuck I'm still laughing at this picture.
 
P.S. My darling Dayana had her first fall yesterday..=(









 
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Just one more dance for you.
You can't see me.
I can't see you. 
Never did ever since.
A song from a girl to another girl.
Very very much wanna dance with you just once.
Take my hand.
Take a breath.
Pull me close and take one step.
Keep your eyes locked on mine.
Let the music be your guide.
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 Been having late nights recently ever since I quit my job at Starbucks. Apparently everyone there was shocked that I quit. It was, of course, a sudden thing to ever happen seeing my joyous self at work having no problems whatsoever. I'm starting to miss everyone there, even the workload. If it's not because of my punctuality that my store manager is so particular of, I would have stayed. Then again, I hate being a problem anywhere. So I 'd rather bring myself out from it.

 Currently at Youth Park's stage watching Mas, Gaga, Wawan, Renni and Ash rehearsing for their finals. Using Gaga's computer right now. A lot was going through my mind as I was glued to this laptop. (PS. I think I really want a MacBook). Watched past videos of me dancing. I gotta say, I've really come a long way from where I was. My posture is way better, my energy became crazier, my choreography getting real wicked and I guess, in a nutshell, I've improve a whole lot.

 But knowing that I've improve a lot doesn't mean I'm that good yet. Still a whole lot to improve on. I don't really have that necessary support about the style I'm doing but it's fine having friends trying your style even though it seems 'common' nowadays. But I dare say my choreography feel is way different than any common choreography you see these kids choreograph. Not being cocky but ya. I don't know where I'm heading yet because I still wanna explore a whole lot with my life rather than keeping it fixed and assured. Living life like this just seem to be kind of thrilling to me and I doubt anyone would dare to live this life with me. 

Resorts Word Sentosa having their annual auditions end of this month. Guess I'm gonna go there with both my academic and dance resume. A 2-day audition. Hope I'll get through the call backs for the 2nd day. I really wanna save up money and have a dance holiday in Australia this year. Then if I'm given the chance, I wanna go Los Angeles for at least a month and just take classes there. Exploring myself and just go on an all-out adventure in a foreign country.

Well besides from what I've always wanted to do, I'm keeping myself grounded on Earth overlooking the things happening around me. I am so dope that I know a lot of things and can still keep mum about it. Ok that's just lame. Haha. I know it's very hard for anyone to work with me when it comes to dance. Yes I get annoyed when people just don't get to picture my ideas even after explaining to them. I am always open to ideas but at times I really don't feel like contributing because it just seems irrelevant.

I really wish I had great vocabulary so I could use big words to describe how I'm feeling. Love i all around me everyday and I as the voyeur of it just have to not bother about it. So what is in my mind. Who is in my heart. I can safely say for now there is none even though I do really yearn for it. But good things comes to those who wait aye. Haha. Wah such a long post sia. I must be really bored writing whatever is inside my head. I'll take off from livejournal now. Can't believe I'm gonna choreograph something from High School Musical for this week's class. It's my 2nd last class anyways. Haha. For all to know, it's 'Can I Have This Dance' by those two Disney couple. Till my next entry. Toodles.
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Phew. Finally some free time to update. But the zap of laziness in my body is making me not to. LOL. Just had brunch and with this cool weather, I wana take a nap. 

Not been doing well at work due to my punctuality. I guess Sentosa is way too far. Really tired you know. Work in th day where you'll stand the entire shift and head out to rehersal in the evening. Almost an everyday routine like that for the past month. That doesn't include the late night shows. So I've decided to quit this job. The workload isn't the problem but the travel is a killer. If I wake up for like 5 minutes late, I'll be 15 minutes late for work. It's that bad.

Dance been ok I guess. My classes every Sunday is just average. Ending the entire Street dance Academy end of this month. Here's the scary part. Now from *Scape studio, my class had been chosen to be pushed to RECOGNIZE STUDIOS!!!!! GAH!!!!! NO!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! It is of course a great opportunity to teach at a studio where the entire dance scene knows about. For the fact that my class,or should I say myself, will be pushed to there is so intimidating. One fact because I still think my choreography is not of that high quality. Ok fine low self-esteem issue. But then again there's two other instructors there that's doing my style. So I find it quite redundant though. But ouh well,I'm just gonna do it. Haha. Not everyday that i actually climb up the status ladder. Hoho. Hoping for the best because it might start as early as next month..=s

Persona life. Hmm. What personal life. Seems like I don't have any. Haha. Maybe not now. Or ever. But I still having faith about it. Feeling like I'm 38, I think I should settle down soon. LOL. My parents been talking about marriage to me and how their friends children are getting engaged and all. FML. LOL. Really~~!! None is there right now. None in mind. Yearning yes. But ouh well. Fuck it. Haha. I'm doing pretty all right now anyways.

I think that's about all. Gonna end this post with a picture of me hiking through Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Hiked up to this cliff. The picture is just a way of showing how I would like to have that imaginary girl beside me. FYI, that "imaginary" girl beside me is actually Nazatul Syima. LOL. The girl who hiked wearing heels. But I love the picture nevertheless even though I do wish it was someone else beside me. Hee. So here you go.

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haiqalsaures
Name: haiqalsaures
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